read this: the worst blog post ever! Mahi Mahi-style.

Let's talk about food. Then, let's go eat.

You may have already seen this in Reader's Digest or in The Huffington Post and I want to talk about it before I talk about Holé Molé and their false advertising practices. 

I'm not sure which sandwich shop this is so I apologize for not giving credit where it's due, but it's a great way to combat bad publicity. 

Thanks to HGTV, Food Network, Twitter, Facebook, Yelp and yes, even you, Blogger - everyone now thinks they're a food critic. And maybe "that one guy on yelp" very well got a bad meatball sandwich. It happens. But instead of starting a war with words on Yelp, this restaurant owner took the high(brow) road and used the bad review to create a clever advertising campaign outside his shop for the very affordable price of $0.

When someone makes a controversial statement it's near impossible not to have an instant reaction to it. So I think it's pretty clever to turn this bad customer comment on its head and create an advertisement from it. I wonder how many people tried the meatball sandwich that day. I also wonder if they went on Yelp and absolutely harassed the bejesus out of him for making such an outlandishly false claim. I guess I'll never know. 

If you know and you're reading this blog, please update me in the comments section below. I'd love to know!

Which brings me to the subject of Holé Molé. Last Tuesday night, my husband and I stopped into the restaurant to grab a bite to eat. I've only ever eaten at a Holé Molé once - on Taco Tuesday with coworkers and I had the taco special - whatever it was - I didn't ask. But my husband, an avid saltwater angler and connoisseur of fish, pays a lot closer to menu items especially when they pertain to the catch of the day.

Many restaurants advertise fish specials under false names. I think the most widely abused menu item is the "white tuna" typically found on a sushi menu. Often times, escolar an oily, cheap snake mackerel imitating tuna, is passed off as Albacore.  This fish is nicknamed the “ex-lax’’ fish by some in the industry because of the digestion problems it can cause.

But there isn't any escolar on the Holé Molé menu...I don't think. And there isn't any Mahi-Mahi either. I snapped this picture (above) and under Tacos you see listed "Cabo Tacos: Grilled Mahi Mahi Tacos."

This is a Mahi Mahi fish.

And for only $2.79 each? That's a damn good deal for Mahi Mahi. So my ever skeptical husband asked our host, "the Cabo Tacos, those are actually Mahi Mahi?"

This is a Talapia fish.

"No, it's Talapia Mahi Mahi-style," answered our host. "All of our fish is Talapia."

First of all Holé Molé, Talapia is a disgusting shit-eating fish. These fish literally are raised on poop. Chicken poop.

Secondly, there is no such thing as "Mahi Mahi-style."Mahi-Mahi is actually a delicious surface-dwelling dolphinfish.

I've caught Mahi Mahi before. Mahi Mahi is also called Dorado in Mexico. They're delicious! Especially as sushi! Would you eat that fish to your right raw? Uh-uh. 

I think it's really crappy that Holé Molé would intentionally deceive its customers like this. I like their restaurant quite a bit. I think their shrimp bowls and carne asada tacos are delicious, but their business practices leave a bad taste in my mouth. 

I didn't bother Yelping about this but I did visit their Yelp page  to see if anyone else had caught on...apparently not - or at least if they had, they were keeping their mouth shut too. I mean, the place gets an average 4/5 stars and despite the "Mahi Mahi" tacos not really being what they say they are, for the most part, people like their shit-eating fish, so why do I want to rain on their parade. 

Besides, I don't need Holé Molé making me their poster girl for a sidewalk chalkboard campaign, "come try our amazing Cabo Tacos that one chick ever on Yelp said were shit-eating fish." 

I'll bet you a basket of wings that you won't post a comment on this blog post

Eeek, sorry, due to yesterday being a day of rest (otherwise known as NFL Sunday) I am a bit late in getting a blog post up. And since I'll be playing catch up and having to write two of them today, this post (as well as the next) will be brief.

I want to address mobile advertising - or rather - advertising on mobile apps. I fell victim to a very good one yesterday that actually compelled me to click it, then follow its call to action, and now I'm blogging about it.

And THAT, my friends, is the power of good ad placement.

To the right is an actual snapshot from my iPhone screen. You can see I'm logged into my Yahoo! Fantasy Sports app and following my team, Axis of Ignorance, which, BTW, is currently in 5th place with 99.6 points with R. Griffin III left to QB in tonight's game WASH vs. PHI.

I see the Buffalo Wild Wings advert and it's asking me to "toss my opponent a wing wager."

"why, what's a wing wager?" I of course have to ask myself right before clicking on the yellow little rectangle.

So step one of this advertiser's brilliant marketing scheme is knowing it's audience and where they will be on Sundays - in front of their phones, in front of their big screens. They could have advertised during any one of the match ups that day, but that would have cost them A LOT of money and with a large percentage of their target audience's faces looking at the little screen instead of the big screen it would have been a total waste. Not to mention, except for the outdated Nielsen method, you can't really tell how many eyeballs you're getting for your TV spots - it's a guess at best - but you can track your CTR.

Step two was picking a call to action that was simple, yet didn't explain itself, compelling you to click the add to find out "what the hell is a wing wager?"

Ahhhh, thaaaaaat's a wing wager. Hmm, okay, I like wings. I like gambling. I like hanging out with friends. So win or lose, I still win. Ok, I'm in. I'll make a medium wager that the Axis of Ignorance is gonna kick your ass #uckin' Bronco's (that's Christine's team. She started the day off ahead of me by 78 points, but all her games are played and she's sitting pretty at 168.68 pts). I think I can take her, so I clicked "propose it."

And the last step was sharing it to her facebook page to let her know it was on like donkey kong! Which is brilliant for two reasons - first, because now I have made a bet and made it public so one of us HAS to pay up or forever be labeled a reneger that no one else will ever place any kind of bet with. So I guess that means Buffalo Wild Wings will be earning our bsuiness one way or another - and heck - we might as well just watch next week's match up from Buffalo Wild WIng's restaurant since we're going to be there anyway. So not only are they going to get me (or hopefully Christine) to buy a medium basket of wings, but we're going to need a couple pints to wash that down with - not to mention refreshments and snacks for all the rest of the players who show up from our league that day.

They've got us by the balls. Err, figurative balls.

But, secondly, now all of Christine's facebook friends, who may or may not have their own fantasy leagues, are going to see this awesome wager and want to make their own. Maybe B-Dubs gets a couple more patrons...maybe they also publicly post wagers via twitter of facebook.

The moral of the story is: had B-Dub posted an in-app ad that simple read: "hey watch the game and eat some wings here" I would have ignored it. Not clever. Clearly an advertisement. Don't care.

But they didn't do that. They came at me with a very clever call to action and I like that.

Now com'on Washington Redskins!!! I got a basket of wings riding on this game. 

did 'boots tweet' get the reaction Kenneth was looking for?

I couldn't resist talking about this tweet after hearing about it yesterday while I was watching MNBC from the stairclimber at the gym.

personally, I don't find it THAT offensive. NY wants to elect a man named Weiner who showed his weiner to the public via twitter. that, I find offensive. what Kenneth posted may have been in bad taste, but, who cares? 

the way I see it, everyone was doing their job. a soldier's job is to protect their country - and sometimes that means putting boots on the ground in foreign countries where we're not wanted; a president's job is to assuage the fears of his nation by either supporting a "boots on the ground" strategy or vehemently denying there is such a strategy at all; and a designer's job is to sell clothes. 

kenneth cole has always kind of been a shirt stirrer, right? he likes to get people talking - and this tweet certainly got people talking - and retweeting - and maybe even shopping. 

the problem with social media is...well...where should I start?

first of all, most Facebook Friends aren’t really friends and most Twitter Followers don’t follow.

second, everyone has an opinion (or an agenda, or something to sell).

third, we all struggle to censor ourselves from time-to-time. 

so when a a public platform like twitter gives a megaphone to people like Weiner and Cole and they say or do something dumb (intentional or not) it's like the 3:00 bell that starts a schoolyard fight. the classrooms empty and the grass under the bleachers explodes with fist fights. everyone suddenly has a position to defend. and then after a couple days someone else says or does something stupid and your 15 minutes of ill-begotten fame is over.

the question is, does this hurt or help Cole? 

remember the old adage? no publicity is bad publicity. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that phrase still holds water. there are literally hundreds - if not thousands - of examples of people and products who have whether "bad publicity" and came out stronger for it. 

look at that whole Chick-fil-A debacle. they recorded their highest sales ever on the day gay rights activists staged a protest against their restaurant. 

Chick-fil-A certainly didn't mean to offend the gay community and it was a slight PR disaster - but the upside is that the authenticity of their brand solidified their most loyal stakeholders and earned them new business from diners who shared their same values. if it wasn't for social media, word of Chick-fil-A's "foot-in-mouth" moment wouldn't have been able to spread like it did. 

where I see social media failing is in not being controversial enough. middle of the road stuff isn't going to move the needle.

imagine if Cole's tweet had read like this: "this season's pumps, sandals and loafers on sale now" do you really think it would have been retweeted 524 times? do you think I'd be writing about it? 

I am attracted to brands that have personality. I am attracted to brands that are real. I am attracted to people who make mistakes. perfect people and brands are boring. 

but that doesn't mean you should use social media to be a jerk-off on purpose or without a set of authentic values that your customers can easily align themselves with when shit hits the fan.

if you're going to use social media keep the following in mind:

- you want to have a dialog - not a one-way conversation

- not everyone will support your position

- if you get criticism (and you will) use it to improve your product, not launch a defensive attack

- be entertaining (but tasteful)

- make statements that support your value proposition

and now back to what I was doing on this computer before this whole 'boots on ground' conversation - I saw Macy's was having a sale on these really cute Kenneth Cole sandals. 

7 days until unemployment

it is currently 2:05 PM on thursday, september 5th, 2013. I am precisely seven days away from unemployment - which is a really weird place to be. most people, I would think, "suddenly" find themselves unemployed, don't they? they don't have weeks to contemplate it like I've had. In fact, I found out about my soon-to-be-unemployed-status 11 days ago.

this will be a first-time adventure as an unemployed person. yay! I can't wait! it will NOT , however, be my first time being laid off.

I was laid off in 2009 when I worked for CLEAN AGNECY, a boutique marketing/PR firm more focused on packaging design than marketing or PR. based in Pasadena, I lived in Tujunga and served as their Integrated Public Relations manager. but in this lay-off scenario I was let go with clients.

yeah, ha, they actually GAVE me clients and sent me packing. which was pretty rad because after setting up a website, joining a couple networking groups, and going on a couple new business meetings, I was pulling down $90K+ a year (on average). Not exactly starving.

so 11 days ago one of my bosses calls me into his office and shuts the door. that's never a good sign.
he basically lays it out for me - what I've seen coming since returning from maternity leave - "they don't have enough work for me" and effectively, can't afford to keep me on staff.

what do you mean "don't have enough work for me?" I've been the one creating the work since I got here. I come up with the marketing plan every year. I come up with the budget. the promotions, the partnerships, decide where to place our ads, how to grow into foreign markets, etc.

ok. no biggie. but here's a word of advice from the pros - "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." meaning: when sales are down, or the market is down, guess what your competition is doing? they're thinking about scaling back too. all the more reason to ramp up and take advantage of opportunities that you're leaving wide open for the competition.

during the Great Depression, many businesses were struggling and failing and most were cutting back on marketing and advertising. ultimately, those who succeeded and gained market share were companies that did not make marketing cuts, like Proctor and Gamble. in fact, P&G went even further with their advertising and increased the marketing budget by sponsoring “soap operas” on the radio.

So here's a Top 5 List of marketing don't in a down economy:

1.) don't ignore the importance of sales strategy. when your sales/marketing manager comes to you with a sales forecasting document that you've never instituted in the history of your business - implement it - RIGHT AWAY!
2.) don't cut your advertising/marketing budget - increase it
3.) don't concentrate on what "pleases" your customers, tap into your customers' worries and frustrations
4.) don't treat your customers like nuisances - they're usually your #1 source of referrals and revenue!
5.) don't assume business as usual. revisit your budget/marketing plan and make adjustments where necessary

and finally...at risk of sounding like an asshole to prospective employers...don't insult your marketing professional that you're about to lay off by asking them to outline a "how-to" guide to the marketing tools they've been using to stimulate your growth over the last 9 months to 20 years. Because if think you can't afford them...what you can't afford is to let them go. 

forgive me father, for I have blogged

since blogging for so many others, it feels like a sinful delight to blog for myself. so if you've stumbled upon this blog on purpose, or rather by accident, welcome to the charade. [charade: n empty or deceptive act or pretense]

just so you know, before writing this post - wait - stop. no, let's be honest here...exactly 22 words into it, I googled "what should I write in my first blog" and here's a list of the top five results:

11 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started My First Blog - Quick Sprout

How to Write Your First Blog Post | MackCollier.com - Social Media ...

What should I write in my blog and how to choose post titles?

6 Easy Steps To Write Your First Blog Post • 47 LEADS

How To Write Your First Blog Post - Blog Success Journal

not actually stopping to read any of these articles (yet), I had to ask myself, with 135,000 results returned in .28 (that's POINT 2-8 seconds...not 28 seconds) - how many people could possibly be writing a blog to inform others about what to write in their first blog? lol. is there that many of us dullards out there? 

now, I'm no stranger to writing. I'm a columnist for BDOutdoors.com. I also wrote (up until recently) the blog, the email newsletter, marketing messages, and all sorts of web and advertising copy for my former employer (that I'm sure will come up in blog #2 - tentatively titled "7 days until unemployment"). I've even ghost written for major PR campaigns and company spokespersons. But writing for yourself is hard. The last time I did it, I was 13 and it stated, "Dear diary..."

but I digress...

now I have read - ok skimmed - the first three articles. on the brink of unemployment I simply just don't have time to look at five posts about beginner blogging tips.

the fist one told me to tell you who I am and share pictures. the second one told me to be social. the third one told me to be mindful of my SEO so I could distinguish myself from the competition.

ok. here goes.

I'm Kathy. my friends call me Kat. This is what I look like with my nerdy mad scientist reading glasses on in a moth-ball riddled vintage Steelers T-shirt (authentically) picked up in a Pittsburgh thrift shop and mailed across country to me by a total stranger who I've never met but sent $30 to through paypal after meeting her on craigslist.

I'm a marketing public relations professional, competitive shooter, hunter, angler, CrossFitter and all-around enjoyable person*. 

I fully intend on sharing this post socially via twitter, facebook, pintrest and any other amazingly rad social sites where I can talk about important things like ME, Me, me, me using the hashtags #hireme #job #marketing #SEO #publicrelations #communications #BA #CSULB. (side note, I just created a new portfolio site and tweeted about it using these hashtags and lo and behold at least on person has already favorited it, thanks Rob Sinclair @nutrasique).

now, this whole SEO boosting concept...I thought about giving this blog post the title "Kim Kardashian Samsung Weiner Back-to-School Lotto MLB Scores" but I thought that would just be plain misleading. I don't rightly care if anyone reads THIS blog post. I just need something to do while I count down the days until unemployment which will then kick off a count-down to re-hire. 

so if you're interested in what a marketing person - currently between jobs - has to say about everything and nothing at all, then please tune back in again tomorrow for "7 days until unemployment". 

*This last point is up for debate...depends who you talk to quite frankly.